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Ah, countrysides. Such wonderful places to be, made of divine design, the kinds of places that all of us want to live in. And if there ever was a set of wheels made for English countrysides, it’s got to be Range Rovers. But I certainly didn’t expect to be seeing heaven on the first day of our drive. Sitting at the new Evoque’s wheel right now, the whole windshield is filled with a Welsh sky and I find myself pinned to the comfortable seat. And we’re not moving. You see, we’ve been asked to come to a halt on this vertigo-inducing slope made up entirely of loose rocks and pebbles, and take off again, by instructors who look cheerfully unaffected by our pale faces and wide eyes.
As we’re suspended in that gravity-filled limbo, I quickly dispatch a prayer through that windshield, seeing that it’s pointed in the correct direction in which prayers ought to fly. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed. And the Evoque was exactly the opposite. A gentle prod on the throttle and we’re up and over the treacherous incline before my prayer had left the car - it seems that Evoque’s electronics system comes with Wish Grant Assist as well. And that set the tone for the next two days.
Under the watchful eyes of Land Rover Experience’s peoples’ eyes and vehicles’ headlights, our long convoy of Evoques clambered over and forged through some of the scariest off-road trails I’ve ever seen. I could’ve sworn that the support Defender’s fenders swollen with pride. Unless you think I’m exaggerating, here’s a list of the Evoque’s heroics - grunting up and down stomach-knotting slopes, slithering over impossibly slippery slushy and rocky terrain, fording through waist-deep water in a flooded tunnel (no, really) and then going through some more water at a ship dock in Liverpool. Capable? Oh, yes. I’m impressed.
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