Two's company, four's a bore
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Two's company, four's a bore
By:Kartik Ware |Published :September 27,2010 06:09 AM
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They have it all, from danger to the promise of untold sin. Their heartbreaking ways will leave you weak in the knees. Here's ten of my reasons why they rule the world of cool and cars make do with second place. How many d'you have?

Stand by me
Few man-made things are as cool as a motorcycle sidestand. Kick it out, swing your leg back and up, removing your helmet while swinging around. If you've not gotten all tangled up in your own limbs and fallen in a heap, you're just about the coolest thing for miles around. If anyone's watching, that is. Best practice this a few times before venturing out to dazzle the world with your slick moves. And make sure that damn stand hasn't snapped back into place.   

Hello Angels
Ever heard of burly, menacing, tattooed ex-cons thundering across barren landscapes in cars? There's something immensely impotent about the scene, isn't there? The Hell's Angels may have also driven cars, but they will always be remembered for the roaring choppers that raised hell and rode into the history of cool. 

Getting Physical
Look at Chris Pfeiffer, look at the Red Bull X-Fighters. Nothing looks as cool as a motorcycle making a mockery of everyone from Newton to Hawking. The only stunt that most drivers manage with their cars is faceplanting on the tarmac by tripping on the door sill. Very few drivers can actually drift their cars, but here again, motorcycles look far better while drifting.

Curve Ball
God gave women curves to look good on a motorcycle, I say. A car hides all there is to be seen. Epic fail. A biker chick, to use a stereotypical term, comes a close second to bikes themselves in terms of heat generation. And if she can actually ride a motorcycle, that just might be better than the entire Kamasutra put together.    

Love's A Pain
A humble Mahindra Xylo is far more practical than a BMW R1200GS on a cross-country trip. However, after covering almost 2000 km on the Beemer (the same route I'd taken in the Xylo previously), I realised that one of my backpack's strap had been fluttering in the wind right in front of the exhaust's mouth, but never touching the exhaust itself. I now carry around a backpack that has a half-melted strap and one look at it, no matter where I am, is enough for me to relive the ride in a single gratifying moment. Ain't no car gonna do that. 

Ready, get set, gone!
For a car to be fun, it has to have an improbable number of zeroes in its price tag. And even when you do get that car, a motorcycle will still beat you. With bikes, accessible performance is a given and a major reason why there is no such thing as a boring motorcycle. Even a 125cc, single-pot bike will inject fun into your existence. An average car will only make sure that you spend more time in traffic jams than is necessary. When it comes to outright performance, a litre bike that costs as much as an average family sedan will show the best of supercars a clean pair of...actually, a single rear tyre. And those of you who're waiting to throw the impossibly gluttonous Bugatti Veyron in my face, I've got two words for you: Y2K Streetfighter. Eat that, suckers.   

Kit On
Motorcycle kit looks better than any of the designer threads that are churned out by effeminate men and masculine women all around the world. Unlike the unreal physiques of models, you can actually be a normal person and wear riding kit. What's more, your average riding jacket, pants and boots will flatten those assorted unwanted bulges and make you appear as streamlined as your machine. Riding kit looks good AND protects you. What more could you want? And though you will have to contend with looking like a lost astronaut when off the bike, even that's a lot of fun, trust me.   

Wind In Your Face
You've heard it all before - being part of the scenery, the wind in your face and the bugs in your teeth. And if you've missed it, you've missed one of the most elemental joys of life. Motorcycling appeals to the primal instinct that lies dormant inside all of us. The feeling of your right hand putting power down to the road, the rush of shattering personal speed records, the thrill of cleaving air at never-seen-before velocities - it's all slightly otherworldly. A motorcycle at 100 kph feels better than four wheels doing twice that speed. A motorcycle at 200 kph feels like nothing else. No wonder I fall asleep within five minutes of entering a car.  

Lean Machine
Crouching low over the 'bars, a screaming motor under your chin, tyres at the edge of adhesion and your brain's gyroscope at the 'Max Lean Achieved' mark. Fighting centrifugal force on two wheels is the most fun part of riding a motorcycle. Cars? Well, they lean the wrong way.

Valentino Rossi
The impish legend is a good inspiration to ride motorcycles. In my opinion, he is one of the greatest talents to ever walk the earth, and I mean this across all walks/runs/stands/sleeps of life. I wish I had a fraction of his talent. And that, incidentally, is the exact amount required to win a MotoGP title these days.   

 

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Tags: Kartik Ware blogs about motorcycles |  Kartik Ware blogs |  BS Motoring blogs    
  Posted by Velutha at 3rd December,2010
C'mon finaly the Doc has worthy rivals, okay not Hayden obviously but Stoner certainly and Lorenzo maybe..
  Posted by ishan lee at 8th November,2010
this is by far one of the best Article i have read !! outstanding stuff man !! Its not one of those everyday articles you bump into ...this infact is FUN to read !! =P
  Posted by diablo at 3rd November,2010
I get the point the writer is trying to make. But then I don' too. A Porsche 911 Turbo yanking your arm off your shoulder as you correct an induced oversteer moment is not boring. Saving a Lamborghini Gallardo and yourself by pinning the accelerator down than lifting off at 260 kph is not boring either. Driving the wheels off a Suzuki Swift between Gramphoo and Kaza cannot be termed boring. Cars, dear Ware, provide their moments too. And in any given corner in any given track they swallow motorcycles and spit out their twin-spar bones!
  Posted by Vinayak Pande at 13th October,2010
@NB: I'm not a bike rider and having known the writer personally I get exactly what he's trying to convey. It's his models for bike worship that I take exception to. A little humility goes a long way on four or two wheels, as proved by the direction Honda took in marketing their bikes as opposed to Harley with their choppers. Fact of the matter is that the Hells Angels make over a billion dollars a year through running drugs and extortion and have been involved in attacks against immigrants in Europe. They should never be idolized. And the demographic shift in Harley riders just proves how outdated and out of fashion that image (fueled by repeated listening of Steppenwolf) is. The immature kids are the ones who try to emulate professionals and get killed in the process. Again, having known this writer personally, I would not call him an immature kid and (as a matter of fact) I never even implied it in my previous response.
  Posted by NB at 11th October,2010
@Vinayak: A question first, have u EVER ridden a "good" bike over a "fairly long" distance...[Ur 40 km daily office commute on Bajaj CT-100 doesn't count]? If you have, And if u feel passionate bout riding 2 wheels, you would instantly relate to what the writer's tryin to convey....unless u r one of the aforementioned 60-70 yr old category!! And young riders ending up as roadkill is correct, but then who's the immature kid on two wheels here??!!
  Posted by Nikhil Joseph at 30th September,2010
As Vinayak put aptly, this write is the perfect way to differentiate between a passionate journo and an immature kid on two wheels. No prizes for guessing which category this write up falls under.. Lol he's making hell's angels an example to envy.. Kudos to Honda for changing that image..
  Posted by Vinayak Pande at 28th September,2010
That Hell's Angel reference is a stereotype you should get out of your head. Number one, those guys were deviants who went to jail for good reason and made riding motorcycles unpopular until Honda came along with its "You meet the nicest people on a Honda". Second, Harley Davidson's core clientele is 60-70 year old white males who are now having trouble getting their legs over the seat due to arthritis and their finger joints hurt with the cold air and engine vibration. As for stuntbaazi goes, there's nothing cool about young riders ending up as roadkill while trying to emulate professionals.
  Posted by Ruman Devmane at 27th September,2010
HAHAHA! That last sentence has to be one of the most brilliant concluding sentences in the history of motoring journalism. Very, very good stuff!
  Posted by satya at 27th September,2010
one of the finest and strongest reasons for riding m80 than M800, thanks for sharing.
  Posted by satya at 27th September,2010
one of the finest and strongest reasons to ride M80 rather than M800, thanks for sharing.
  Posted by rohit at 27th September,2010
Nice take on motorbikes.
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